The Golden Globes is the black sheep of award shows. No one knows what they’re focus is. They’re throwing awards at movies, they’re throwing awards at TV shows. The Oscars specialize in movies. Emmy’s specialize in TV. Then the Globes are just the bastard love child of the two.
Well fuck the Golden Globes. The Tony’s are a more entertaining award show. But the globes weren’t all bad, here’s what this disgrace of an awards show had going for them last night:
- Jimmy Fallon brought Justin Timberlake in to redo a two year old SNL bit.
- Steve Carrel and Kristen Wigg gave a better performance than anyone nominated for an award
- The producers of the Golden Globes figured out a way to use the package they made for when Meryl Streep dies
- And Meryl Streep became the king of controversy when she decided to act like a prestigious Hollywood elitist even though she’s from New Jersey. In the words of Jimmy Fallon, “EW”
Now I’m going to let myself finish on this Golden Globes piece, but I want to take a minute and address the all wonderful and prestigious Meryl. First off Meryl, you’re not prestigious. The Golden Globes might have recognized you as a great actress, but guess what, the Internet’s most prestigious weekly movie blog has given you no such award. Remember Ricki and the Flash Meryl? I do. You’re shit stinks just like everyone else’s. Except you’re shit was an 18 million dollar movie that starred an old lady with a bad haircut who wore leather. Again, “EW”
To be fair, Trump mocking the disabled reporter was by far the worst thing that he did throughout his campaign and it was what kept me from ever being on team Make America Great Again. But even still, America has no interest in being lectured by some rich old grandma about the importance of diversity in movies.
Alright, I’m done with her. Back to the Globes.
Sure, there were a select few times when the Golden Globes were entertaining. Congratulations Hollywood, you can put on a semi decent show with a bunch of drunk super stars once a year. Good for you buddy! But the Golden Globes doesn’t hold a candle to the Internet’s most prestigious weekly movie blog, the Weekend Movie Watchlist. Not even a candle! Know why? Because the Golden Globes doesn’t matter to regular people. It’s an award show that was made by Hollywood for Hollywood. There’s no award for a movie that is good to see with your boys. There’s no award for a movie that will get you laid. They don’t even have the decency to acknowledge when they snub another movie. Do you know why? Because Hollywood isn’t concerned with regular people, so long as their “art” continues to receive funding from those regular people.
So please, I encourage you to show up this Friday to see a movie award show that cares about the regular folks out there. That wants to get them laid. This week’s Weekend Movie Watchlist was a disgrace to the good name of WMW (let’s see the Golden Globes acknowledge when they fuck up), but as my promise to you, the return of the regularly scheduled WMW will put all other award shows to shame. If anyone from Hollywood is out there, I suggest you keep one eye open, because the Weekend Movie Watchlist is mother fucking BACK!
P.S. That’s how you tease an upcoming event
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