Welcome back to another week of Movie Watchlisting. I wasn’t a fan of last week’s format so we are changing it up. Rather than run through the movies title by title the week’s films are going to be competing for a variety of awards. Some of these awards are going to be weekly while others will be awarded when a movie appears that truly deserves them. So without further ado lets get to the awards.
Saturdays are for the Boys Award
This award goes to the movie that you go out to see with the boys on a Saturday night. Its one that is going to get you guys pumped up for an extended night of drinking before and after you guys go to the theater (maybe during if you go to the right theatre or smuggle some booze in). So the award goes to…
Office Christmas Party
I don’t have much faith in this movie actually being funny. It will probably be good for a couple laughs of slapstick and people doing drunk things. It definitely won’t win any comedy awards but it sure as hell is one to go out with the boys to see and then try and mimic after. So enjoy being jealous of Aaron Rodger being able to fuck Olivia Munn, drink responsibly, and tear shit up.
Date Night Award
This award goes to the movie that you are going to want to take your girl (or boy, this is an equal opportunity watchlist) to. This award is given to the movie that is going to provide roughly an hour and a half to two hours of pleasure in the theater and hopefully inspire 3 to 5 minutes of pleasure in the parking lot behind the theater. And the movie that will get you laid this week is…
Allied
I know it’s a week old but movies aren’t exactly pouring out of Hollywood this week. Allied has some action, it has some mystery, and it has some hot steamy Brad Pit sex which is guaranteed to make your guest hot under the collar (or uncomfortable if they aren’t into you). She may be a week old but Allied definitely deserves this award.
Best In Show
The “Best in Show” award goes to the best movie that is in theaters this week. The one that you, hands down have to see. And so the winner of the most prestigious prize in the Weekend Movie Watchlist goes to…
Arrival
This one has been in theaters for a couple weeks at this point and probably only has a week or two left in most theaters. BUT it stands the test of time. If you haven’t seen this one yet, you really should catch it before it leaves theaters. Overall it’s the best movie in theaters this week. All around a good flick. This will not be the best movie to win this award, but it is a proud first winner.
And now for the specialty awards
Best Marketing Campaign Award
Marketing of movies have stepped up in recent years with the popularization of multiple trailers and trailer teasers that come out years before the movie will hit theaters but every now and then a movie markets themselves so well that they stand out from the rest. And the winner of the Best Marketing Campaign is…
Office Christmas Party
It takes some serious innovative minds to come up with the idea of getting one of your movie’s stars arrested for battery on the day of the movies release. A movie about a wild party has their star arrested for being a little wild? Coincidence? I think not. I respect the move, even though it is such an obvious play at trying to take the weekend box office. It’s a competitive movie world and you have to do what you can to get ahead. So props to T.J. Miller for having the balls to take the fall for the greater good of the movie.
Nerd Boner Award
Not everything can be about being a massive bro. Sometimes you need to let your inner nerd out. That’s why we have a Nerd Boner award. It seems self-explanatory to me. And so this week’s winner of the nerd boner goes to…
Fantastic Beats and Where to Find Them
I’m a Harry Potter fan. I think I mentioned this in last week’s WMW but it’s necessary to justify why this one wins. I’m a sucker for the Harry Potter world, totally wanted to be a wizard when I was 11 just like every other muggle out there. So if you too are a Harry Potter fan this movie will be both interesting and devastating. Interesting because it’s the Harry Potter world and J.K. expands a shit ton on the world. Like the world creation is the real focus of this movie. Devastating because it sucks that they are making a sequel to something that was so special to so many people (I acknowledge the fact that I sound like a pussy saying this, but fuck you I am standing by it). Harry Potter’s 7 books and 8 movies were unique and meant something to their fans. This movie seems more like they want to make money off the backs of their loyal fan base and the success of the franchise. So yeah, it wins the Nerd Boner award but I won’t be thrilled about the fact that it was made.
Snub of the Week
Because no one can be happy, and I am not perfect, so I will save everyone the time and point out who I fucked over by not giving an award. This week’s snub award was for the Nerd Boner category and it goes to…
Dr. Strange
This one has been out for weeks and I’m actually surprised its still in theaters. So yeah it got snubbed for that. It also got snubbed for being a C list Marvel movie. If it’s not one of the Avengers movies or not one of the big Marvel heroes I have no interest in it. The whole concept of Dr. Strange is too confusing and there is no way that he plays a major role in the plot of the Marvel series. If he does actually come into play it will probably be in the same capacity as Ant Man did in Captain America Civil War where you can figure out what is going on without much struggle. All of this aside, if the Acid Dropper Award was on the table this week Dr. Strange would absolutely take it. This movie would be great to do drugs and watch and just enjoy all the pretty colors and special effects.
Stay Tuned
The Stay Tuned Award goes to the movie that is coming out in the near future that we should all be excited to see. This one is obvious this week…
Star Wars: Rouge One
I’m not going to insult you by explaining why this one won. Stay tuned next week to see how many awards Star Wars can steal from the competition. Spoiler: It’s going to set some WMW records!
Doc's Blog 