When I first read the headline that Marshawn Lynch was narrating episodes of planet Earth I actually kind of believed it. The whole thing seemed like such a Marshawn Lynch move that it might actually be true. You’d think I would have learned about the internet by now. Props to the guy that put this together. I’m pretty sure that if you expose yourself to Marshawn Lynch’s voice for too long you become permanently trapped in a purgatory of beast mode. So give this brave soul the respect that is due to him.

I want to know where the hell this iguana (I don’t actually know if it’s an iguana but its a reptile and all reptiles are the same anyway #ReptileRacist) is hanging out in the video. Cause fuck that place! I’m not afraid of snakes like girls are of spiders* but I definitely subscribe to an Indiana Jones like ideology when it comes to snakes, “Why did it have to be snakes?”. Snakes are evil. That’s just fact. What animal does Satan embody when he gets Eve to eat that apple? A snake. What animal does Voldemort keep as a pet? A big ass snake. What animal does Medusa have coming out of her fucking head? So many fucking snakes. Point is, snakes aren’t just an animal that gets a bad rap. For thousands of years they have personified evil. This rocky, snake infested, land has to be hell right? Like there is no way that one place has that many snakes and isn’t a room in hell. They have the fire room on the left of hell and then across the hall is the rocky shit show that is filled with snakes and one poor iguana that must have committed some major sins in his life to wind up here.

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Further proof that snakes are just fucking evil: There are hundreds of them here and one small iguana. Even if they catch him there is no way that all of them get to eat. They are just chasing this poor, crazy athletic, bastard to be dicks.

*= seeing the snakes jump after the iguana when he is climbing up the rocks actually would make me scream like a child if I saw a snake do it in real life. An animal with no limbs shouldn’t be able to get that kind of vertical distance.