I am not afraid of artificial intelligence taking over the world. I don’t believe in fearing the inevitable. Death, taxes, and robots taking over the world, they are all unavoidable and no amount of fear will prevent them from happening and so I don’t fear them. So I am not afraid of Amazon’s new checkout devices taking over the world and letting robots control our lives (not sure if anyone is actually saying that Amazon Go will lead to the Matrix but I just assume that there are people who are opposed to an easier life because people suck). I for one am going to enjoy the perks that come with a world that is slowly being overtaken by our own electronic creations. And this is the best perk ever!

What’s the worst part about shopping? Spending money, that’s an easy answer to a stupid question, but you can’t stop spending money when you shop, unless you steal I guess but that’s bad. But besides spending money the worst part about shopping is obviously having to talk with the cashier people when you check out. You have to make small talk with them as they examine your purchases and you just know they are subtly judging you because you got that bottle of lotion as a joke, because it’s not to masturbate with, it’s a joke, I have dry skin, I swear I don’t masturbate. I hate that. I will always go to the self-checkout to avoid those awkward encounters. In fact, if you don’t go to self-checkout and you bother the high school kid who is just trying to get through this shift without having to mop up milk or kid puke in aisle 7 then you are a weirdo. Just ring up your own groceries let him try and flirt with the girl bagging groceries, it’s the least you can do. Amazon Go is just self-checkout made easy. I’m a big fan.

Side Note: If you are a stock person I would be investing in porn magazines as this idea takes off. I think that as the judgy high school cashiers and their pretty bag girl counterparts are fazed out there will be more people comfortable with going vintage and buying magazines like Playboy and Hustler. These companies are going to grow parallel to each other because in a world controlled by robots, paper boobs that don’t move or get played with are a bigger comfort than they should be.

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